For stay-at-home-moms, it gets easy to forget that your children are just that...children. After spending all day "working" (yes, it's work...a lot of it), sometimes I have the tendency to treat my sweet little babes like they're annoying co-workers that I'm glad to say goodbye to at the end of the day. I love my boys. I REALLY do. Being with them is my joy and it's 100 percent what I want to be doing right now, but it's still hard.
Can you tell I've had a rough day?
Here's a little Cliff's Notes version of my day.
Cold shower. Some things got broken. Food was wasted. Lots of crying could be heard ALL DAY. No naps. Late to the bank. Jude tried to eat my chap stick. Penn won't eat supper. Jude wants to eat supper while walking around the house. Bath time floods the bath room. No story time as punishment. Jude hops the baby gate three times (at least). I yell (A LOT). I end up feeling like the worst mommy in the world.
I think I'm a pretty good mom. I have a lot of fun with my boys and I like to post and get feedback on some of the activities we do together. I think some of the time, I try to make other people think that I'm a natural at being a mom.
The truth is, I'm not a natural mom and days like today remind me of that in a very obvious way. How I reacted today was pretty much what comes natural to me. Being a fun, loving, and patient mom is an effort and sometimes I'm a lot better at it than others. If it came natural to me, I would never have to make the decision to rise above my "nature" and do things for no other reason than because I love my kids. I could do it all without an ounce of affection because I was "a natural." I'm thankful to "work" at being a mom. These days (although I don't wish them to come any more often) remind me of the heart of my work and the importance of making the conscious decision to be the best mom I can be. Those two little boys don't deserve anything less.
Now excuse me while I go snuggle with my now-sleeping babies and try to earn their forgiveness. Something tells me I'll be instantly forgiven:)