First Trimester blahs...

Just so you know, I have every intention of this blog turning into a pregnancy blog temporarily.  I'm sure I'll still be putting up family updates and other things every now and then, but now that my "secret" is out, I really just want a place to commiserate with some sympathetic friends.

That being said, here we go...

First and foremost, this pregnancy was a surprise.  We knew we wanted at least one more baby, but our plan was not to try for another baby until the end of the year.  Obviously, God had other plans (YAY!).  I began to suspect I was pregnant or that I was anemic (again) when I started getting really, really sleepy at like 9:30 or 10 in the morning.  I was struggling to get up in the morning and to stay awake if I was still at any point during the day.  Pack went out of town with work and I took the boys with me to the store to buy a pregnancy test and I took it as soon as I got home.  

I smiled.

After the realization set it, I got really nervous about telling Pack.  Should I wait until he got home to tell him, call him immediately, or wait and send him a picture (that picture) later?  I opted to send the picture.  That may sound tacky, but here's why...  When I found out I was pregnant with Penn and Jude, Pack (God love him) had a less than desirable reaction, in my opinion.  He had to lay down after he found out about Penn and with Jude, he didn't really say much, but went to work.  He was fine later and made me feel much better, but I guess that's the way things have to sink in for him.  He needs a little time...it shocks him every time.  So, having learned the hard way, I texted him the picture and he called to verify what it was.  I could tell he was going through his "thing" so I told him that he could react however he wanted and then react the way I wanted him to when he got home the next day (aren't I a good wife???).  It worked beautifully.  I was greeted with a warm hug and the excitement my heart needed as soon as he walked in the door.

His plan was to wait to tell everyone until Fathers' Day weekend, which was four weeks away at that point.  I didn't really like that plan, especially since I had already told two people (like I said, I'm not good at secrets...).  But as the first trimester started wearing on me, I wanted to let people know what was up. 

Mainly, I wanted to be able to complain to someone because I. felt. like. crap.  I was managing the the fatigue, cramps, headaches, backaches, bloating, moodiness, and all that fun stuff.  But this week, the morning sickness hit me like a truck.  Within two days, I knew this was not what I had been through with Penn and Jude.  I can barely be in a vertical position for more than a few minutes without feeling nauseous.  And to make things worse, I can't actually get sick to relieve the feeling at all.  It's just nauseousness all day.  I'll get a craving for something and then by the time I can get it, the thought of eating (or smelling) it disgusts me.  At this point, I can't even open my refrigerator.  Poor Penn and Jude. Lots of take-out and T.V. for us lately. 

Needless to say, this has been a LONG week!  I'm hoping my body adjusts and things level out so that I can get some relief.  I want to be able to cook for my family again at some point.  At least my boys are treating me well.  They are trying their hardest to take care of me and not cause too much trouble (although messes seem to follow Jude around).  And my sweet husband is being awesome...picking up some of my slack by preparing meals, watching the boys, or folding laundry, and showing the perfect amount of sympathy for me.  I love him.

Hopefully, my next post won't be such a pity party, but I gotta be real.  And my new mantra?  "This too shall pass."