Change.

Have you ever noticed that the minute you feel led to change something in your life, you are immediately fighting it? For example, for years I have struggled to have a consistent quiet time of Bible reading every day, but I always get too lazy. I want to experience the soul-soothing effect of living my life surrounded by the promises of God, but the minute I decide to change my behavior, I enter into mental warfare

I'll lay in bed and think, "I'll wake up early and read my Bible before anyone's up. That will get me completely ready for my day." But I'm a mom of two young boys and sometimes, mornings can hit me like a truck! Then I find myself trying to milk the night's sleep for whatever it's worth. Nap time? Nah...there's lots of cleaning and picking up I should be doing then. Before bed? Yeah right, I hardly even stay awake long enough to feel my head hit the pillow! Laziness.

Last night, I kind of had a realization. If you want to read the Bible, just do it. Don't wait for morning or lie there and debate when the best time would be to spend some time with God. DO IT NOW (or whenever now is)!

So I did.

Could that be the pattern-breaking solution? Apparently, I just can't give myself enough time to talk myself out of whatever it is that needs to be done. I decided to keep Bibles all over my house. In the nightstand, the living room, near the stove, in the van...in my purse! Wherever I am, He will be with me.

Along those lines...

Ever since I was a teenager, I've never been able to listen to the James Taylor song without thinking of my Abba. I think this song describes the way God feels about it. I don't feel or think even for a minute that he gets mad at me for not trusting Him to help me through my day. He doesn't hold grudges. I do think that it thrills Him for me to seek Him out. And He comes RUNNING to me (the Maker of the Universe...the Alpha and Omega)! He wants to be my friend!

You've Got a Friend

by Carole King as performed by James Taylor Copyright © 1971 by Colgems EMI Music (ASCAP). All Rights Reserved.

When you're down and troubled
and you need a helping hand
and nothing, whoa nothing is going right.
Close your eyes and think of me
and soon I will be there
to brighten up even your darkest nights.

You just call out my name,
and you know wherever I am
I'll come running, oh yeah baby
to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer, or fall,
all you have to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You've got a friend.
If the sky above you
should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow
Keep your head together and call my name out loud
and soon I will be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Winter, spring, summer or fall
all you got to do is call
and I'll be there, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey, ain't it good to know that you've got a friend?
People can be so cold.
They'll hurt you and desert you.
Well they'll take your soul if you let them.
Oh yeah, but don't you let them.

You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I'll come running to see you again.
Oh babe, don't you know that,
Winter spring summer or fall,
Hey now, all you've got to do is call.
Lord, I'll be there, yes I will.
You've got a friend.
You've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
Ain't it good to know you've got a friend.
You've got a friend.

Christmas Gift Ideas

Okay, I will share my list of ideas for homemade Christmas gifts IF my family doesn't get insulted if one of these becomes your gift AND if maybe one of my nine followers offers up another suggestion. (Okay, I can't make you do that, but we'll go on the honor system).

Here there are with links to places where I found the ideas:

1. A game board bulletin board. I LOVE this idea and it looks super-easy. I'm going to Goodwill to see if I can find any used games that will work with this since it doesn't really matter if a few pieces are missing. http://www.cutoutandkeep.net/projects/scrabble_bulletin_board
2. Tree Slice Cake/Cupcake Stand. Very cute. This looks like such a cute idea to display lots of things and I've looked all over for affordable "tree slices" and I just can't find them, short of cutting down the trees in my backyard (not happening). I'm still on the lookout though. http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=30886218&ref=fp_feat_7

3. Reusable Snack bags. Okay, so I was thinking that Santa might leave a few of these in my stocking, but I'm not sure most people would appreciate the novelty and "green-ness" of this idea. I still like it though and think it will make a good use of excess fabric I have. The ones I have in mind are super-simple, but how cute are these? http://noodleheads.blogspot.com/2010/03/tutorial-recycled-reusable-sandwich-bag.html

4. Tin Can SlipCover. This will most likely be filled with either kitchen utensils or pens/markers, but it would make a great teacher gift or even wedding gift if it doesn't work for any of your Christmas gifts. I'm keeping this one in the vault. http://www.elsiemarley.com/tin-can-cover.html

5. Dream Frame Bank. This is way easy, but you have to know a little something about the recipient (like say, where a fantasy vacation location would be or something they are saving up for), but that's the hard part. Finding a shadow box frame is easy (and cheap). Finally, find a picture that represents their "dream", drill a money-sized hole in the top and you're ready to go. For added effect, paint the frame in chalkboard paint and draw a progress meter. http://www.gifts.com/search/product/Money-Bank-Dream-Frame?prodID=340509

Tis the Season...Almost

I'm really excited about Christmas this year. It's an entirely new experience for us being in another place and I hope that helps to make the season more relaxing. Every year, I vow to get all the shopping done early so we can just enjoy the atmosphere of Christmas, but every year, I end up shopping up until Christmas Eve...and spending way too much!

This Christmas, I'm trying something new. It's either going to make Christmas a lot more budget-friendly and relaxing, or it will be a disaster. I'm sure it will be somewhere in the middle.

The idea is: I'm going to MAKE as many presents as I possibly can! Thanks to my new sewing machine I got for my birthday, combined with a few basic sewing lessons, I think I may be able to tackle a few simple sewing projects. The children and women are easy. I've thought of several craft ideas (not just sewing either) and I've even made a few things already, but it's the men and boys I'm worried about. What in the heck can I make that would suit them? Got ideas? Shoot.

Another part of my 2010 Christmas resolution is something that I've been wanting to do for a while (for obvious reasons). Whatever I can't make, I'm going to try to buy used! I've actually done pretty good this year setting aside some money for Christmas and I can't bear the thought of it not taking us as far as I thought it would (we have A LOT of people to buy for), so this might extend the budget some. Most of this will be felt in my immediate household. Mainly, Pack, Penn, Jude, and Me. I got the idea when I was thinking of how long it takes us to open all the toys on Christmas morning, only to find out that the boys just aren't that crazy about them as we thought they'd be. Hence, un-packaged, pre-assembled toys that are ready for playing and probably only cost a fraction of what a new one would!!! I shouldn't feel guilty for NOT buying my kids brand-spanking-new gifts. They could care less!

If you're in my extended family reading this, please feel free to join in and make us something homemade or buy something used for us or someone else on your Christmas list! I feel bad asking people to do this because I realize it takes a little more effort and time in most cases, but I feel that the holidays will be so much more focused on the true meaning and traditions of Christmas. Not electronic toys in perfect (or annoyingly imperfect) cardboard boxes, but gifts from the heart to represent the greatest gift of all...JESUS! The bottom line? I don't need anyTHING! It's all just stuff and I've gotten such an itch this year just to simplify my life.

I'll be the first to confess that not everything I gift this Christmas will be handmade or used, but I'm going to do my best and I would encourage you to give it a shot too. Maybe just hand make two or three gifts (I'm hoping I get some food, hint, hint). We don't need to kill ourselves. But who knows, you might end up developing a skill in something you never thought you'd be able to do!

And don't forget, if you've got any good ideas, PLEASE let me know...seriously:)

A little "sumthin" to think about.

I heard on the radio today that in 2003 there was a discovery in astronomy of a point of light that represented a whole ton (okay...I don't remember the number) of galaxies in space that we don't even know about.

One point of light.

One AMAZING Creator. (Because at some point, there HAS to be a Creator)

And he chose OUR little planet to send his Son because his most precious creation lives here.

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16.

He would have done it just for me (or you). Chills.

A year and a half later...Jude's birth story.

We got pregnant with this sweet baby boy 13 months after Penn was born. We were thrilled...thrilled because Penn was such an easy baby (although that changed during toddlerhood), thrilled because we were having another boy (I would have been thrilled with a girl too), and thrilled that I was pregnant again (this would soon change).

I felt totally different this pregnancy. Every ache and pain was magnified because I was chasing a toddler. I didn't rest. I didn't eat enough (early on...later, I ate like a champ). My ribs hurt like mad. And I was too stubborn to ask for help when I needed it.

These complaints aside, I still loved being pregnant and did my best to make it look easy in front of people, although I realize now that I probably wasn't fooling anybody.

Toward the end of the pregnancy, the doctors became concerned that little ole me was going to give birth to a ten-pounder (like I said, I began to eat much better). We decided to schedule an induction for a week before my due date. This was a bittersweet decision. It was an easy choice in some ways because we could make arrangements for Penn more easily, and at that point, I was tired of being pregnant anyway...I was already dilated four centimeters and 75 % effaced (whatever that means...). On the other hand, I really, really wanted to experience the spontaneity of going into labor on my own and see when this baby would decide to come.

The pain won out and we showed up at the hospital early Friday, March 27, 2009, after dropping Penn off at "Mamaw's". I remember Pack and I argued on the way to the hospital, but I don't remember what about. We were both nervous as anything and a little heartbroken that Penn wouldn't be our baby anymore--and he didn't even have a clue. Mostly, we were anxious because we wanted to meet the newest little boy.

For the record, sitting on the hospital bed at 6 am, getting prepped for induction is surreal. It's crazy thinking, "In just a few hours, after a ton of pain, I won't be pregnant anymore." I'm willingly lying down and asking them to administer the pain for me. Weird.

Anyway...

Contractions started immediately, about 6:30. I liked the "pain" at first, probably because it wasn't really pain. It felt productive. I knew I was already a four, so it wouldn't be too long before it got worse.

During the labor, I got bored, so I did what any bored person would do in 2009, I facebook. What else could I do, right? Here's the play by play:
7:38 Getting restless sitting in the hospital bed and I've only been here an hour and a half!!!
8:46 Trying to resist the epidural, but Pack is freaking and wants me to get it asap.
*I finally got it about 9:30 after Pack begged and pleaded.

10:52 About to start pushing!!!
*I was instructed to "labor down" at about 11:00, which basically meant they wanted me to sit straight up in the bed to allow the baby to get way down in position. This was supposed to make everything move a lot more quickly without as much pushing...it worked
12:49 Has a new little boy...born at 12:01...he's perfect. I'll post with measurements later. *I promise I was not neglecting to spend time with my perfect boy so I could facebook. I had already gotten my first snuggles and nursing session and was getting ready to switch rooms while Baby Jude got checked out in the newborn nursery.
Jude really was perfect (APGAR score and everything). We noticed his super-long toes and the fact that at 9lbs, 1 oz and 22 inches, he was almost the EXACT same size Penn was at birth. He nursed like a champ from the get-go (and did so until he was 18 months old!!!!).

This labor was fast. Pushing took 15 minutes. We were in the hospital 36 hours before we went home (not staying longer was a mistake...read me MISTAKE). We spent the next few weeks forbidding Jude to grow up...he was going to be our baby forever.

It didn't work.

You can't convince the boy now that he's any younger than his brother. At 1 1/2, he's gotten more injuries than his brother has had in his whole life. We realize now he's not perfect...sometimes, he's bad. We are crazy in love with him still and he's growing at lightening speed!

Baby Jude, you came into the world quickly and pretty easily! We adored your babyhood and were so sad to see it go, bit by bit! As you grow (quicker than we'd like), our mission is that you will never be able to say that your mommy and daddy never kissed you enough, said, "I love you" enough, or neglected to tell you about God. You will always be our sweet boy and we are so thankful that God trusted us with your care. You make our life so sweet and we love you tons and tons!

Woe is me...

I can't think of much right now that is more stressful than meal time. I realize that I'm not the first person to have to cross this bridge and I'll probably think fondly upon these days when I'm having to deal with more "big boy issues," but I am at my wit's end! Between Jude's utter destruction of any element of neatness in my kitchen and Penn's finickiness (that's putting it lightly...), I wonder if we will ever emerge to a season of life that doesn't require begging, threatening, and baths during and immediately following meals.

Here's the scoop. Penn eats nothing (okay, very little). I've seen birds that have bigger appetites than this kid! The only time we don't have to argue with him about eating is when we're having breakfast foods, some form of chicken (plain), bologna, hot dogs, fruit, or sweets. Oh yeah...celery. This boy eats celery. You know all the foods that they say all kids eat--like mac and cheese, spaghetti, french fries, peas and beans??? Mr. Firstborn won't touch any of these unless you force them into his mouth and then be prepared for it to come back up. I was trying to lose weight so I decided to eat portions of food that I would give to the children. Unfortunately, I have discovered that I would not survive on what Penn eats. Seriously. And don't even think about taking this boy to a restaurant to "try something new." He's as stubborn as his momma and it isn't going to happen.

Jude, on the other hand, is my "good eater." He'll literally eat almost anything I put in front of him. Well, I take that back. He'll try to eat anything I put in front of him, but at least half of it will end up on the floor, on his head, the walls, in his diaper...you get it. Then when he's starving all the time and we're wondering how he could possibly be hungry again, you remember that he only was able to get half the meal you offered him into his mouth. Poor guy. I know you're thinking, "Can't you just help him out and spoon-feed him a little?" Nope. Not only is Jude my "good eater," he's also "Mr. Independent." He'd sooner starve than let you help him--with anything. Give him a spoon and it may as well be a piece of jewelry, nice, but not necessary. Fisting food is much more efficient to him.

Therefore, after meals, you will usually find me near my breaking point. Wanna help? Got advice for either of these scenarios? Let me know. I'll be the one under the table threatening Penn if he doesn't eat something, while vacuuming cous-cous with ketchup up my arm.

Is 27 still considered "mid-twenties?"

Tomorrow is my birthday and I thought I'd commemorate that event with a post, since I haven't done that too often lately.

When I take a look back at "my" last year, I'm amazed at all the changes. This time, last year, we had just found out that Pack got THE JOB. The one we had been waiting for to come around for over a year. The ball was finally rolling...we thought. Within a week: loan pre-approvals, meetings with realtors, sign in the front yard, chaos in the house. I was terrified of what was to come. Everything seemed to be moving so quickly during those first few weeks.

Then everything slowed to a snail's pace. Our house didn't sell. Pack was gone Mondays through Fridays most weeks. I felt like a single mom. Our house HAD to stay clean for any last minute showings and I had to be ready to go out the door with just a few minutes' notice. I couldn't and still can't do anything on a few minutes' notice with two babies...

Christmas came. I was thankful that we got to spend one last holiday in this little house that we loved. I missed my husband like crazy during the days he wasn't home. It felt like college all over again, but this time I was doing it as a single mom of two.

After the New Year's Holiday, my mom got sick. Real sick. We were afraid she'd die before going to a doctor. We made her go. A couple of week long hospital stays. A surgery. Months out of work. I was thankful, once again to still be in Florence to help take care of my mom (but if this ever gets back around to her, she should only think I was basically her chauffeur and lunch picker-upper). I still missed my husband.

In March, Jude turned one. Our baby...ONE! We celebrated his first year on Earth with an alien party and had a blast. I decide our house will probably never sell. It was okay...we liked it there.

May came and so did a surge of showings. By the end of the month, there was a contract on our house and I was having to plan a birthday party for my sweet firstborn while getting ready to move out. Penn celebrated his third birthday with a small dragon party at the park (which he requested), but none of us anticipated that he would end up with two swollen feet from ant bites, fever, and soaking wet from getting rained out of his party. May was a doozy!

In June, we became homeless. We lived with my parents for a little bit and in a hotel for a little bit longer (I still kind of hate hotels). I very nearly lost my mind. By the end of the month, we had two significant dates: the day we were SUPPOSED to close on our new house (which ended up as "the day I parked in front a Wachovia and cried because BOA is disorganized"), followed immediately by the day we actually closed on our new house and moved in! If May was a doozy, June was a whirlwind!

July was wonderful, but busy. We made several trips to SC for some commitments we made before we had a clue where we'd be. We went on our first mission trip as a married couple. July was still "limbo" for us. I felt like we were vacationing in Virginia, except I had to make up the beds, cook, and do all the dishes...sheesh!

August has felt right. I feel like I'm home. I miss my family in SC, but I know that by being here, I'm able to give myself up completely for this house full of boys.

This year has been a JOURNEY! I can look back and see God's perfect timing in every circumstance. I might not have been too thrilled with "HIS timing" during this process, but I'm ever-so-thankful for it now. Where would I be without you, God?
I can't imagine how my 27th year will end, but I hope it will be as exciting as 26!