My Last First-Birthday Post.

Oh, Anna...it can't be so.  The plan was for you to stay a baby forever.  No teeth, no crawling, no naughty stuff...just you, me, and that sweet baby smell all wrapped up in footie pajamas forever.

That baby smell is no joke.  

Well, you have deviated from the plan.  Yesterday, you turned one year old.  I thought about wearing black all day to mourn the passage of the "infant" season of my life (I could seriously have babies around me forever), but truly I'm looking forward to all the fun memories ahead.  Here is a little bit of what you are like at one year old.

Stop that growing, right NOW!

One of my first observations about you when you were first born were your "crazy set of lungs."  That much hasn't changed.  When you are unhappy, you let the whole world know it.  You WILL NOT be ignored!  When your brothers start in to even give you a little squeeze, you sound the alarm at maximum volume.  Baby girl, you mean business!

Being the baby is not always fun.

Luckily, you aren't unhappy very often, and when you are, a snuggle from Mommy (or better yet, a nursing session) makes all well in the world again.  And speaking of nursing, you still like that...A LOT!  Considering that you've never taken to pacifiers or bottles (after steady attempts), I don't anticipate weaning in our future for quite some time.  Right now, you nurse between five and eight times a day, usually for no more than five minutes or so at a time.  Sometimes I get a little teary thinking about nursing not being a part of my life in the near future.  It really is such a joy with you.

Bottle, shmottle...the good stuff comes straight from the tap!

Something else that is a joy with you?  Getting you dressed, brushing your hair, and (as of yesterday) painting your toenails.  I love having boys, but dressing them and shopping for them isn't NEARLY as fun as it is for you.  I have a feeling, this will be short lived, as one day, YOU will be the one picking out the clothes instead of me, but I'll enjoy it while it lasts.

Sugar and spice and everything nice:)
Photo credit:  Shannon  Lawhon Rauh Photography

In the womb, you were my biggest mover.  I seriously felt you move constantly from 14 weeks on, but now that you're here, I've noticed that you are a lot more content to be still.  You love me to hold you all the time (which probably explains why you are my first child who's first birthday came and went without taking steps or even standing), and you seem to be happy to crawl everywhere else.  Somehow, I'm content for you to take your sweet time.

Your favorite place--in Mommy's arms.

Even though you aren't walking yet, there is ton of stuff you ARE doing.  You have the cutest little wave.  You click your tongue (although you can never do it without smiling).  You say Da-da (all. the. time.).  You climb all of our steps.  You can brush you hair.  You try to put shoes and socks on your feet.  You put your hands together to say prayers.  You say "thank you" (actually, you say, "ang-hoo").  You know how to get attention.  You definitely are a quick learner--copying every silly thing your brothers do.  You feed yourself everything.  You are well versed in the art of "making eyes" at people.  You go to bed without crying every night (and you are definitely our best sleeper!).

Tucked in with your favorite blankie and SeaSea the Seahorse.

My favorite moments with you are the quiet times that I rock you and nurse you before bed each night.  Sometimes we read a book and sometimes I just sing to you, but I always pray for you and your future (and your brothers)...praying that God will capture your hearts at an early age and protect you from all the things that I'm afraid to even think about.  You, Penn, and Jude are our treasures.

So, happy birthday, precious one.  Always remember...YOU ARE SUCH A GIFT!

Seeing weaknesses as strengths

Three-and-a-half is a tough age to negotiate with.  Jude spends a good amount of time, it seems, having tantrums, being sneaky, or holding his ground on whatever issue.  The other day, I figured out a way to prevent any future tantrums  and get full cooperation from out little Jude.  The secret?  Give him his way all the time.

Yeah...not gonna happen.

Luckily, that was not my only thoughtful insight.  I have also been convicted lately that I should be embracing what I see as my children's (spouse's, friends', or my own) weakness and try to see them the way that God sees them.  It's hard to realize that the things about my children that I find the most frustrating are things that God has designed in them to bring glory to Him in some way.  They may not be old enough to know exactly how to use these tools yet, but I'm starting to understand that it's my job to help them see.

Where I see stubbornness ("Your shoes are on the wrong feet, let me do it...please!"),
God sees perseverance.

Where I see messiness ("Why are there a million little pieces of paper cut up all over the floor???!!!"),
God sees creativity.

Where I see shyness ("They never do anything on command..."),
God sees humbleness.

Where I hear a million annoying questions ("For the hundredth time, I DON'T KNOW!"),
God hears curiosity.

Where I see danger ("Do not run away from me...you could get lost/taken/hurt!"),
God sees fearlessness.

Where I see weakness, God sees strength.

My prayer is now, not to give me patience or insight on how to deal with the character traits that I find frustrating, but to help me embrace those things and show my children how they can use those traits to bring glory to the Lord.  I don't want to punish those things about my children that God intended/created in them for His purpose.

Photo credit:  Jamie Fleeman Photography

2 Corinthians 12:9-The Message

^7-10 Because of the extravagance of those revelations, and so I wouldn’t get a big head, I was given the gift of a handicap to keep me in constant touch with my limitations. Satan’s angel did his best to get me down; what he in fact did was push me to my knees. No danger then of walking around high and mighty! At first I didn’t think of it as a gift, and begged God to remove it. Three times I did that, and then he told me,

 My grace is enough; it’s all you need.

My strength comes into its own in your weakness.

Once I heard that, I was glad to let it happen. I quit focusing on the handicap and began appreciating the gift. It was a case of Christ’s strength moving in on my weakness. Now I take limitations in stride, and with good cheer, these limitations that cut me down to size—abuse, accidents, opposition, bad breaks. I just let Christ take over! And so the weaker I get, the stronger I become.

Daddy-Daughter Date Night

So last night was the long-anticipated Daddy-Daughter Date Night at Chick-fil-a that Pack RSVP'd to a few weeks ago.  And I'll be honest...until last night, I swore he only did it to have a night eating a CFA sandwich in peace without having to keep an eye on two wild little boys in the play area.  Who could blame him?

But when he was on his way home from work, he called me to make sure his girl was "dressed pretty."  When he got home, he walked in the door and passed right by Penn, Jude, and Me to make sure Anna girl got the full effect of his greeting.  He was holding a flower which he placed right into her eager little arms (and went directly to her drooly little mouth, of course).  Side note:  I love that the first flower a boy ever gave her was from her Daddy.  

Anna isn't even one yet.  She's not going to remember tonight, but I have a feeling that one day her standards are going to be sky-high for picking a boy to date (and then marry).  For that, I am so thankful!

For me???

I'm voting for...

Tomorrow is Election Day (in case you haven't been counting down the days you would have to hear all the annoying ads, like I have).  It's a big day and only the second Presidential election I have ever voted in.  I've thought long and hard about my decision and I have decided that I will be casting my vote for...

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Packard Kids for President...REAL change for America!

I'm only halfway kidding.

I'm NOT voting for or against a political party, a healthcare plan, the coolest or most down-to-earth candidate, the unemployment rate, gay marriage, the national debt, inequality, abortion, the environment, Middle East peace, nuclear arms, education, a do-nothing Congress, war, the death penalty, taxes, military, or our international reputation.

I'm voting for the future of those three sweet faces in the photo above.

Let's face it, the job of President is probably the absolute worst job in America and I'm actually surprised that they can even find two people who actually want the title.  Maybe there was a time when a lot of honor and glory went to the President, but those times are gone.  Now, whoever gets the job (or who has ever HAD the job) gets the blame for everything that's wrong with America and has to fear for their lives on a daily basis.  Not a job I would apply for and spend a year or more trying to get (especially as a parent of young children, which is a whole other blog post).

But regardless of what I think about the job of President, the fact is, we need one.  A good one.  One that will be the Commander in Chief make it a priority to STOP trying to divide the American people on issues that don't even affect the majority of us.  And preferably one that will admit a fault when it occurs (wouldn't that be a first???).

So, tomorrow, I'll be up early, in the cold, possibly with three small children (hopefully not), but confident that the candidates I select will be the best investment in America's future.  And while I won't be literally voting for one of my children, I'll definitely have their best interests at heart.

"Vote for the people who will require something OF you rather than promising something TO you."

-Andy Stanley

Making a List...OR NOT!

This year, Pack and I have decided to shift our focus from "shopping for Christmas" to "celebrating CHRISTmas."  This is why we have decided to limit our Christmas shopping this year to just our children and our siblings' children.  As much as we enjoy giving gifts to others (especially our awesome family), we end up spending quite a bit of time, stress, and money looking for the perfect gift for them that is within our budget, or making something, which is also time-consuming.  We want to spend more time thinking about the MOST perfect gift, which is Jesus. 

In honor of our amazing family and friends, our family is going to start a new tradition of blessing another family with a monetary gift...one for each person in our home.  We were blessed by another family last year at Christmas and the monetary value of the gift paled in comparison to the heart behind their generosity.  We are sure that our family would much rather have our money go to someone who really needs it than to buy them something else to put in their homes.  Our families are pretty amazing:)
   
I don't know about you, but I would much rather spend the holidays spending time with my family and enjoying this sweet season of life with them instead of with strangers at the mall.  So when you are doing your shopping this year, please think of my family, but cross us off your list.  Instead, try donating what you would normally spend on unnecessary gifts to a person or family who needs a bit of Christmas cheer.  Let Jesus give you a heart like His--a much better gift than I could buy you;)

2 Corinthians 9:7

 Each of you should give what you have decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

MY "Facts" about Cloth Diapers

I'm not a cloth diaper expert by any means, but after reading a thread about cloth diapers today on one of the local news channels on Facebook, I realized that most people are misinformed about cloth diapers.  I wanted to share the information that I know to be true about them from my (little) experience using them.

1.  Cloth diapers are expensive when you buy them new.  If you don't care about having "new" cloth diapers, they can be super-cheap.  I actually prefer to buy used because it saves a little work from having to break-in new diapers.  Every cloth diaper I have bought has been purchased used for less than $5 per diaper.

Can you tell this is a used diaper?  Bought for $2, sold for $5!

2.  You don't have to be anti-disposable to use cloth diapers.  We do use disposable on occasion.  They are expensive (even if you use off brand) and inconvenient when you run out, but sometimes we throw a disposable in the diaper bag because it takes up less space or for other reasons and I don't feel guilty about it.  We've used about one or two bags of disposables for Anna over the course of her life so far and that's okay too.  We consider ourselves to be very flexible.

3.  You don't have to use "special" detergents or bleach with cloth diapers.  As a matter of fact, you SHOULDN'T use bleach on cloth diapers because it will make them not last as long.  Diapers can get clean with a small amount of detergent and warm-hot water.  The detergent I use to clean my diapers can be used on any of our clothes and it's safe for the environment.  You do need to be careful about the detergent you use, but doing a little research will tell you that there are lots of available detergents you could use.

Clean and White!

4.  Washing cloth diapers is the easiest laundry you will do.  Diaper day is not a chore.  I empty my bag of diapers in the washing machine and let the machine do the work.  If there are any stains, I let them sit in the sun with a bit of lemon juice to clear it right up (although if stains don't bother you, you can skip that step).  Sometimes I throw my diapers in the dryer and sometimes I hang them outside to dry.  Depends on the weather.  When they are dry, I throw them back in the drawer.  No folding required=Awesome!

5.  Poop is disgusting in cloth OR in disposables.  People think that you never have to handle poop if you don't use cloth diapers, but if you've ever had a baby, you know that explosive poops happen with disposables and at some point (or several), you are going to have to touch poop...and it's probably going to be on you and you won't even know it.  In the eight months I have cloth diapered Anna, she has only had one "explosive" poop in cloth that has come out of her diaper.  That is unheard-of with disposables.

Cloth diapers have saved her cute outfits (and mine!)

6.  You don't have to put your hand in the toilet to clean diapers (although I've done it before and it's not that horrifying).  I have a diaper sprayer now (a modified sink sprayer, basically) and it rinses the poop off the diaper so I can flush it down where it is supposed to go (FYI--you are supposed to dump poop out of disposables too and flush it, but no one does it).  Not to mention, if you are exclusively breastfeeding for the first 6 months (or just for however long you are breastfeeding), you don't even have to rinse poop out of diapers before washing them! Once you start solids, most poops fall into the toilet without much help.

7.  When you no longer need your cloth diapers (or don't like them anymore), you can always sell them (if you buy them used to begin with, you might can even get all your initial investment back!).  At some point they will reach the end of their life and you can trash them, but if you buy cotton, hemp, bamboo, or other natural fiber diapers, they will biodegrade and become a part of the earth again.  They won't take up space in the landfills for our children and grandchildren to have to deal with.  The extra water and detergents you use are no match for the environmental cost of plastic coated diapers sitting around for ages leaching chemicals into the land of our descendants.

Go green!

8.  You can't beat the cute factor in cloth diapers.  There's not a denim-look disposable diaper that can even compare to a sweet cloth diapered bottom (see photos above).  But be prepared...you'll have to go up at least a size in your baby's clothes because of a fluffy tushy:)

Girl's got curves:)

9. It's never too late to try it out (unless your kid is already potty trained of course!)! I started cloth diapering Jude when he was 19 months old and he was potty trained within two or three months! An initial $50 investment saved us hundreds in diapers and pull-ups we didn't have to buy for the next year or so AND they are as good as new for Anna to use when she gets a little bigger!

Overall, I understand people not cloth diapering full time and I know that it's hard to cloth diaper economically in some areas (hello, Florence), but I think it's always worth a try, even if you only use one or two cloth diapers a day or week.  Oh well, I guess that's all I have in my arsenal, but I hope it helps someone make the decision to at least give it a shot:)

In a Kindergarten funk...the flip side.

Call me George Washington, but I cannot tell a lie.  This Kindergarten adjustment has been pretty hard core.  I knew it was going to be tough but I thought it would be because Jude would be going crazy without Penn around all the time and I would be worrying about him all day.  That has not proven to be the case.  The really difficult part has been when Penn comes home.  Exhausted.  Cranky.  Mouthy.  Yeah...it's been fun (not really).  I can't really blame him.  When I was teaching, my students and I all left school at the end of the day feeling the exact same way.  School is work.  But as a mama, I expected that my baby would come home at the end of the day, run into my arms and just want to sit and hug on his brother and sister, read books, and tell me every detail of his day.  Once again...wrong.

So we're really having to look at our afternoon and evening time with a fine-tooth comb and figure out what is working for us and what isn't.  Here are a few of the changes we've made to help make life a little easier for now.

1.  When Penn gets home from school, we stay outside as long as possible.  The wonderful swing in the front yard has a magical affect on our boys and they seem to be satisfied swinging on it for hours on end.

2.  We are buying LOTS more fruit.  Penn is starving when he gets home...STARVING!  Even after eating a PB&J, apple, banana, raisins, celery and ranch, yogurt and anything else I throw in his lunchbox, it comes home empty every day and he eats and eats until it's supper time (at which time, he won't eat anything, of course).  I'm thinking of getting a part-time job just to support our fruit-junky.

3.  When he gets home from work, Pack watches all three kids for me for at least 30 minutes of uninterrupted kitchen time.  The meals we make can't always be prepared ahead of time, so this gives me the time to get it all ready and in the oven and sometimes even do some light clean-up and table setting.

4.  Everyone has a laundry day now and I only wash diapers twice a week (and I look forward to diaper days since they are so low-stress.  Somehow, I'm still ending up washing two loads a day most days, but having specific laundry days for each person helps me find a reasonable stopping point without feeling like I have to keep all the hampers empty.

5.  We stopped doing anything "scheduled" in the evenings.  We aren't meeting with a couple's small group right now (Pack is doing a men's early morning small group once a week, and I am starting a SAHM's small group that will meet one morning a week also).  I also had to stop kickboxing (hopefully temporarily) and I replaced that with a walk/run around the block most mornings after walking Penn to the bus stop (while pushing two kids in an umbrella stroller...WHEW!)

6.  We (I) try to go to bed as early as possible.  For most nights, kids are in bed by 8 and I'm trying to be in bed no later than 10.  I'm still exhausted in the morning and I could probably go to sleep at 8:30, but hey...the kitchen doesn't clean itself;)

7.  I'm finding myself getting super-stressed and upset really easily lately so I'm going to try to start focusing on what IS working instead of what isn't working.  Hopefully, it will all work itself out in another month or so and I'll be able to feel a little less tired and a little more in control.  It's hard give up a routine that worked so well for us for so long, but seasons change and kids grow up:-(  On that note, I'll leave you with a few pics of my little weeds...

Teething face:-)

Walking to the bus stop!

My little helper!

This swing only cost $1, but it's worth my sanity (which isn't much right now)...

Bath buddies!